20# Mark

I finally hit the 20 pound mark! FINALLY! It took 14 weeks. In the past I would usually lose 25 in 12. It is getting easier. I have 16 weeks left until my birthday. My goal is to lose 22 pounds by then. If I don't go over my weeklies I can make it. I will have to survive Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas during those 16 weeks. Yikes.

I also started the DVD's I ordered, Tracy Anderson Metamorphosis (TAM). The first time I did it, I was like, "That's it? That wasn't very hard." I was expecting it to be more painful, which seems a stupid thought. Why do I think exercise=pain? The 2nd time I did it, the ab sequence burned. The 3rd time, my abs were in pain. My abs are sore. They're tender if I cough. Today I woke up and my back felt funny. I don't want to overdo it and have my back go out. The leg sequences are on your hands and knees and that is stressful on my back. If I wasn't so chubby, it wouldn't be so hard on my back. I think I'll skip TAM today so I don't hurt myself and try again tomorrow.

I Have Points Left!

For the first time since I re-joined WW,I made it through the weekend with points to spare! Granted, it was only 4 points but I'm thrilled considering I've consistently gone over. Yay me!

Scary Things

I went on SparkPeople today and used a couple of their cool calculators. For one you enter a target weight, how much you plan to lose per week and it will give you a date can you expect to get to that weight by. I entered a rate of 1.5 ppw (trying to be realistic) and it gave me a goal date of July 26, 2012.

The other calculator you enter a future date and how many pounds you plan to lose per week and it will tell you how much you can weigh by then.
I actually found these calculators to be pretty motivating. If I stick to losing at a pace of 1 1/2 pounds per week, I could be at my goal in 11 months!!! WOW!!! That is an exciting thought.

For now I decided to make my first big goal to be under 200 ell b's. The calculator's estimated date is April 5, 2012. I have not been under 200 ell b's since 1996. That would simply be aMaZiNg!!! Hopefully, for both of these calendars, a rate of 1 1/2 ppw is realistic. I've already realized that my original 2 ppw goal to lose 60 #'s by my birthday was/is not doable considering the eating plan I have chosen.

Now I'm scared. I've put it out there. I want to follow through. I don't want to fail. I don't want to give up.

I still plan to make and meet smaller goals along the way. My 1st goal was 5 pounds. The 2nd was 10. The 3rd was 5%. My 4th goal was 15. My 5th and current small goal 20. Then 25, then 10%.

I was watching the QVC the other night because I ran across a presentation for the Tracy Anderson Method. I first saw Tracy Anderson on Oprah when there was an episode all about Gwyneth Paltrow. She demonstrated her workout with Tracy Anderson and talked about how this trainer changed her body and life after the birth of her 2nd child. Now this trainer is schlepping her workout "method" on DVD's on QVC and infomercials. Well, I briefly lost my ever loving mind and ordered the damn DVD's.

The DVD's consist of 1 cardio workout and 9 levels of toning workouts. I'm already planning on not doing the cardio workout. It is very high impact and a lot of jumping around. That is dangerous to my back and not good for my creaky knee so I am going to stick with walking on the treadmill. The toning workouts are 9 levels that you do 10 days each. Realistically speaking, I won't do this 6 days a week. And I feel it's foolish to make too lofty a goal and set myself up for failure. I will start simply by starting and go from there. I'll also have to see how I do physically with these workouts. If I'm sore and they are too difficult for my current fitness level, I'll have to scale back to, say, every other day and work my way up from there. So, it's obvious that I will be at level 1 for far longer than 10 days.

What appealed to me is that they are only 30 minutes each AND not a bunch of squats and lunges. I LOATHE squats and lunges and those alone will turn me off of a workout immediately. I know it is inevitable for me to add toning/weight training/resistance exercises to get the body that I want. I have no intention on trying to look like Gwyneth Paltrow for hell sakes. But I don't want to be all wiggly jiggly. And weight training increases your metabolism.

Crap, I hate committing myself to something that I will fail to stick with again and then I'm left with a $100.00 dust collector. Now I've put it on my blog so the whole world knows.

I'm scared.

Weekly Weigh-In

Down 3 pounds this week. Something can't be right. I was over 50 points for the week. Maybe it'll reflect on the scale next week? I don't mean for it to sound like I'm not happy about the loss. I am! However, it definitely does not make me think to myself, that I can continually go over and still lose weight. I know I can't get away with making that a habit if I want to reach my ultimate goal.

My current average is 1.5 ppw. I lost a ppd so I'm now down to 38 ppd.

Get Real

It's time for me to get real about my slow progress. Slow progress isn't a bad thing. As I've said before, the theory is that the slower it comes off the longer it stays off. However, I'm turning 40 and had a weight loss goal in mind so I can look as good as possible by then. I fiddle-farted around overcame some emotional obstacles for the first 6 months of the year which lowered my goal. I really want to get to 2 ppw losses. The only reason I haven't, really, is because I keep going over my points on the weekends. Hello! I'm over 55 points for the week! 55 dammit!

I need to be more aware and say no to a few more things. Sunday, for instance, I didn't need two helpings of Doritos at my friend's boy's bday party, I didn't need an extra piece of chicken at dinner, nor did I need to eat the unfinished half of my niece's biscuit. Saturday, I didn't need shrimp salad and potato salad - since they were both mayonnaise based, I should have only selected one.

It's time to get real, accept responsibility for my choices and face what is necessary if I want to increase my weight loss.

Awesome Website

www.runsforcookies.com


I found this a success story on SparkPeople that I really liked. This link is to her website. One of my favorite excerpts from her website:
A couple of years ago, I asked [a] question of an online friend who had lost about 200 pounds, and she told me, "There is NOTHING I can say that will give you the motivation you need to reach your goal. You need to find that motivation within yourself, stop making excuses, and JUST DO IT." I had no idea what she was talking about! Find motivation within myself?? Now that I am here, I completely understand what she meant...

I can't wait to learn more from her website.

Weekly Weigh In

I had my first weigh-in at home Friday morning. I switched to the online only plan since I hadn't been able to attend a single meeting. Plus it saves me $30.00 a month! I'm down a total of 13.4 pounds. An average of 1.3 ppw. I have regretfully accepted that I have NO chance of making my original birthday goal. I wanted to lose 50 pounds by my birthday. Seeing as it has taken me 10 weeks to lose 13.4 ell bees, that goal is not going to happen. Unless I want to go on some super strict diet that would be difficult to stick to and make me feel deprived and miserable. So, guess I'll be turning 40 while still on the chubby side. Less chubby, yes. But not as chubbiless as I wanted to be.

Once again I went over my points this weekend, by like a zillion. Man, why can't I "get" that? I still keep telling myself, if I had an iPhone, I would be better about not going over so much. I need to get in the habit of checking my points before I eat a meal. Especially at weekend get-togethers.

I've had to get real with my thoughts about weight loss. In all the prior years, I would lose fast then peter out. I would lose 30 pounds in 4 months then spend the other 8 months of the year gaining it all back. What is more important on the journey this time around, is that I break that cycle. If losing slower means keeping it off, then that's what I'm going to do. I have to accept the fact that doing so means I won't be able to lose 50 #'s by 12/29/11. If I had started in January, as originally planned, I would have been able to meet that goal. But, I didn't, so I have to move on.

I have 18 weeks to go until my birthday. If I get control of my points on the weekends, I think I can lose 25 pounds by then.

Lesson Not So Much Learned

About a month ago, I went over my points severely over a weekend. I said then "lesson learned." It turns out I didn't learn. I'm still going over my points. It's a pattern almost every weekend. This weekend I went over by 5. Dang! I've got to figure out how to get over this hurdle.

Weekly Weigh-In

I didn't want to weigh-in due to the week I had - another week over my points allowances - but I did. We can dress casually at work for a few weeks so I was wearing jeans, which weigh more than my work slacks (what a granny word) to add to the anxiety. I was the exact same weight to the ounce as last week. At least it wasn't a gain.

I know I said a lot in the beginning that if I didn't lose satisfactorily that I would switch to calorie counting on my own, but, I know that WW is the plan for me. I like the flexibility and ease of the program. I just have to be better about tracking at the time, rather than tallying it up at the end of the day only to realize when it's too late that I went over. I want/need an iPhone so I can track anywhere, anytime!

I need to step-it up in the workout dept. too. I missed 3 workouts this week. Summer is a difficult time, but I can do better. I really would like to join a gym. I have always been a "class" girl at heart. I love group exercise classes! It really won't work with my work schedule at this time. I might have to re-prioritize that later. I'll give it a couple months.

Just Wondering

Gastrically speaking, is it the best idea to eat cauliflower and cabbage at the same meal? And two days in a row?

Happy Pioneer Day 2011

So, I weighed in last Thursday. It had been 2 weeks since my previous weigh-in. I had to skip a week due to a camping trip. I lost 2 pounds total. My current average weekly rate is 1.3 lbs. Still not loving the rate, but it is what it is. I am telling myself in this moment that it's pretty great to be losing in the summer.

I splurged a bit too much this weekend and am currently over my weekly points allowance. Stupid Mr. B's coffee at a cost of 15 points! Stupid! Followed up by 2 slices of Little Caesar's pizza for lunch. Stupid! Followed up by snacking and a dinner that cost me {GULP} 53 POINTS. Stupid! Activity points and eating under my daily allowance the rest of the week is now in order.

Week(end) of Independence Day

Friday and Saturday were not too bad. I went over a bit Friday night but I always reserve my flexies for the weekends. Saturday I was 11 points under for the day (14 when you count my fudge factor points). I skipped lunch that day. I think. I didn't track immediately and honestly can't remember. DOH! Sunday and Monday I killed it. And not in a good way. I still can't get over how far over my points I eat while still eating less than I would have prior. I added all of my shortages, overages and fudge factors for the week and had a net of ZERO. Man, I'm lucky.

Having said that, I'm not working according to my plan. Fudge factor is supposed to help me lose faster. Not save me from a gain! I have got to get the weekend splurges under control. Granted, this was a holiday weekend and last night was my work summer party at the Bees game. The 3 additional "special occasions" I had cost me plus I missed 2 workouts.

The verdict? I lost 0.8 this week. That is a gift. Totally. My weekly average has dropped to 1.4 ppw. So, I am going to continue with the 3 ppd fudge factor and NOT GO OVER MY POINTS.

Weigh-In's Update

Last Thursday I was down 2 #'s and 1.8 today. My total weight loss is 6.2, an average of 1.6 per week. Terrible? No. But REALLY need 2 per week to meet my 40th bday goal. Gawd, I really hate saying 40. Moving on...

Last week I deducted 2 pts p/day from my daily allowance. I used all of my 49 flexies. I did go over and had to use only 1 activity point (points earned exercising). That is a definite improvement over last week. Having said that, since I didn't meet my 2 ppw (pound per week) goal, I'm going to increase my "fudge factor" points to 3 p/day instead of 2. I have decided that I would rather have more flexies to play with on the weekends and eat less PPD.

I didn't get on the treadmill last night. I had a headache and a stressful day at work. I really want to skip tonight to finish The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo I have just under a 100 pages to go and just after the halfway point it really got good. I want to finish it and watch the movie tonight. I'd have to skip the treadmill to do that. It's getting late so I need to decide. Dilemmas, dilemmas. Poopers.

Not Worth It.

So "they" say almonds are good for you. Almonds cost 5 points. Not worth it. I think that's something I'll save for when I'm maintaining. I had them with a V-8 yesterday as a healthy snack. When I got home from work I realized I didn't have enough points for dinner as a result of that 6 point snack. I went over. Stupid. Not worth it.

Hard Core

I blew it this weekend. Hard core. I used all of my flexies and all of my exercise points and then some. 1 large movie popcorn, no butter (why does that make me feel better?). Dinner at the Mac Shack (Macaroni Grill) where depsite the fact that I exercised restraint, still cost me gobs and gobs of points. I said I was going to start "Fudge Factor" this week. Not. I must do it today, tomorrow and Wednesday just to make up the diff. Lesson learned? I REALLY was overeating more than I thought until I re-started.

Weigh-In Week 2

I lost 2.8 lbs. That averages to 1.4 lbs. per week. That's kinda lousy. I've found a SP page where people discuss how they are tweaking P+ so they can lose weight. One lady messaged me today and said she has gain and lost the same 5 pounds for 2 months now. How frustrating! It's ridiculous. I wonder how long it's going to take WW to make a change here. This is the worst program they've had and I've joined WW like a gazillion times.

Anyways...
I did go over my points this past week by 8 points, which was deducted from extra points I earned exercising. Obviously, I am still in a bit of a learning curve. As much as I've cut back the last 2 weeks and still gone over, I shutter to think at how much I was overeating before I started. I'm learning. I'm progressing.

My goal for week 3 is to reduce my daily points by 4. From what I read on SP that's what several of the ladies did to start losing weight. Plus, the weight I lost this week drops me down a point per day. Every time you lose and drop down into the next "ten's" - for example from 150 to 140 - (no that's not what I weigh ~I wish!~) you lose one point per day from your former daily allotment. WW theory is that this gradual reduction in points helps prevent plateaus. In addition, you slowly reduce calories during the program rather than having a drastic reduction all at once. I agree it's better to eliminate a little at a time. It's a progression. It's a learning process.

Goal #1 - Reduce daily points by 5
Goal #2 - Do not use exercise points

If I am not satisfied with my weight loss next week I have options on deck:
1-Drop flexies to 42 per week (1 per day from 49). I also figure I can continue to drop one point per day for a total of 7 per week in the future as well when weight loss stalls. The former WW plan(s) gave you 35 per week.
2-Start counting fruit as 1 point per serving like on the old programs.

Here's hoping.

I Jogged

I jogged. Every 4 minutes for 1 minute. 7 minutes total. I've haven't jogged since...I don't know...high school or jr. high?

I jogged.

Well Don't That Just Dill Your Pickle

I weighed-in last Thursday. I was up 0.4 #'s. Eff words! I am not happy. The weigher-inner lady said it could be the difference between having weighed in in the morning the week prior vs. in the evening that day. Whatever. I am not happy. I did use all of my flexies, but I didn't go over. I followed the plan! I will give it one more week, if I haven't lost when I weigh-in this Thursday, I will cancel WW and do SP. I'm not about to pay $39.95 a month for a program I don't lose on.

Weigh-In Tonight Determines Next Step

So, I decided to enter everything from my WW journal to my SparkPeople journal. The days that I used my flexies totalled up to be somewhere around 2500 calories. Eff words. Doesn't seem like a way to lose weight.

I've been reading online about the new WW Points+ program. There's a lot of complaints about people not losing. A lot. For every success story there is at least 10 complaints. People who have been on maintenance with WW former program have gained on P+. Are these people making excuses or is there a flaw in the program? I'm concerned that WW formula does not factor in calories. It factors in fat, fiber, protein and carbs. I honestly believe that calories needs to included in the formula. Calories in-calories out=maintaining. Using calculators online, the calories I have been taking in on days I used flexies determine that I would be maintaining. I'm not paying $40 p/mo to maintain thank you very much. WW says slow weight loss=permanent weight loss. I'm thinking slow weight loss=bigger profit for WW. I weigh-in tonight. We'll see what happens, then I'll do the math to determine how much per pound it will cost me to stay on WW. We'll see if staying on WW justifies the cost. I wish I had kept all of the info from the previous WW plan - Momentum. Eff words.

I'm feeling more confident in being able to do it on my own using SP. This hasn't been a perfect week, but it has been eye opening. It is always important to learn.

Is It Possible?

Is it possible that making one good choice causes you to want to make another? Today I had to get my car serviced. Next door was Arctic Circle so I figured I'd let my son play at their playland while we waited. Of course I would have preferred a cheeseburger, but I got their taco salad and immediately threw away the shell so I didn't give myself a chance to eat it. There was a white type of dressing on it. Great. I'm sure it wasn't healthy. I was pretty certain it involved mayo. I did eat half of my son's fries. Anyway, considering what I would have usually ordered, big ol' cheeseburger with large fries, I felt good about what I ordered. Rather than feeling bitter and deprived. I felt OK about my choice and knew I could make another good choice. I wanted to make another good choice. Then I got an ice cream as we were leaving.

I got home and looked it up on WW. I was surprised that they had Arctic Circle in their database because it's local. I would have been better off eating a grilled chicken sandwich with a small order of my own fries for 14 points. The taco salad without the shell as 19 points. With the shell was 23. Damn! I only save myself 4 points by throwing it away. If I had it without the shell and without the white sauce it would have only been 10. Poopers. Live and learn. This is a process. I still have 8 points for dinner which it totally doable.

I walked on the treadmill last night. The past couple of times I've done it it has felt like 60 minutes is too long. I dropped down to 45 and added 3.5 mph intervals (from 3 mph) every 4 minutes. It's a start. A year ago I was doing intervals at 4.5 mph. I was sweating though. I felt good about just plain doing it period.

I Did It Again

I rejoined WW for the 999th time. I feel like such a failure. I have to do this. I am so miserable. I am so fat.

Improvement

When I walked on the treadmill last night I decided to warm-up longer and more slowly. Usually I just start at 3mph and go. Last night I started at 2mph and slowly worked up to 3mph for 5 minutes. It felt lame. Like, let's get this show on the road. I also skipped the 4mph intervals again. Eureka! No shin splints! I walked 60 minutes pain free!

I ate dinner after, as per usual. Heartburn! I have thought about switching to having a protein shake after for dinner and saving my real dinner for lunch. Still deciding.

I've also made a new rule for myself. No cereal for breakfast. I have to eat a vat to get full. I will save cereal for when I want a sweet snack.

Still haven't started my diet eating plan.

Procrastinator.
Putting off the inevitable.

Yuck

Eating healthy sometimes just doesn't taste good. I'm forcing an apple down because I'm hungry. And because it's good for me.

Hard

I walked on the treadmill five days last week. I walked @ 3 mph for 45 minutes with a one minute intervals at 4 mph every 4 minutes. It was hard. My shins hurt so bad!!! I had to keep stopping because the burning would get so intense.

I skipped Friday and walked Saturday instead. Saturday was the worst of all. It hurt. Is it because I skipped a day in between walks? Today I tried the same routine but couldn't do it. BURNING!!!!!!! I had to drop down to 2.8 mph with no intervals. I still had to stop several times but it did get slightly better by the end. I walked an hour instead of 45 minutes in an attempt to make up the speed difference.

I hate that it's hard. I'm disappointed in myself. I'm disappointed that I let myself get to this state. I'm afraid it will always be hard. I'm tired of struggling. I didn't change my eating last week. I need a lot of work in that department. I still feel WW is my best option, but today I've considered trying it on my own. It will save money and it would be difficult to make meetings due to my schedule and being a single mom. I'm afraid though. I'm afraid of failing again.

O.B. City

I live on the outskirts of O.B. City and it's time to move. I either need to move to a different city or I will end up moving to central O.B. City. I don't want to live smack dab in the middle of O.B. City.

I have two moving companies in mind: Weight Watchers (again) or SparkPeople. There are positives and negatives for both. SparkPeople is free and Weight Watchers costs $39.95 a month. Weight Watchers, in my opinion, has a better accountability factor due to the weekly meetings & weigh-ins. With SparkPeople, it's personal accountability, which I do need to learn. Both have online programs which provide helpful tools and information. What is making me lean towards Weight Watchers is the Flex Points. I like the idea of having extra points (calories) to spend however I want when I want. And the math is done for me. With SparkPeople, I would have to figure that out myself. I'm not sure how to figure that out or if I can. I'll have to research it.

Anyway, I am leaning toward Weight Watchers (yes, again). But feel guilty about spending the money. I will have to ponder and pray to decide. Plus, I feel like an idiot. This is like my 99th attempt. Embarrassing.

I don't know what I currently weigh. My scale needs batteries and I am out at home. I'll buy new ones this weekend and face the reality then.